I am not a big fan of cooking, and pottering in my tiny kitchen is not something I enjoy, but I am a fan of anything that helps get food prepared or cooked with as little effort as possible.

However, I have come across some pretty useless things that were supposed to make life easier, and in my opinion, I can’t believe people paid good money for them.

Banana slicer – yes, they do exist, have a look on the internet, weird banana shapes, invariably yellow, like giant combs, that are marketed as ‘a must-have kitchen gadget for kids, adults, elderly, and healthy eaters.’ (What is wrong with a knife I wonder).

Avocado cutter – another handy ‘must have’ thing for avocado eaters, it will take those big stones out, peel and apparently slice your avocados too.

Knife sharpeners, the pull-through variety. All are not made equal, and it depends on what it’s made from, but the technique using it is crucial. To my mind, these are gimmicky things that can’t replace an old-fashioned knife sharpening stone or steel. Take a look at the professionals, they will use a stone or a steel to get the best out of a knife with an astonishingly speedy flick of the wrist, and it’s an art that is not that hard to perfect.

Electric carving knives I have always poo-hooed these as a useless electrical device (imagine getting a power cut on Christmas Day just as the turkey comes out), that just takes up space. However, I grudgingly admit you don't have to limit yourself to carving meat with it - you can also use it to slice bread, cheese, fruit, vegetables, cake, and most can handle soft, hard, cooked or raw foods.

Those slicer/dicer/chopper things. I trustingly sent The Husband out one time for an electric orange juicer, that probably would have cost around €20. He came back with this thing that you need a degree to work, and you certainly couldn’t juice an orange with it, but if you did want to use it for anything else, by the time you had selected the right blades for a’ chopping’ spree, you could have chopped stuff up with a knife. And don’t mention the washing up afterwards - or the storage space it took up.

vegetable spiral cutter – You may have never seen one. They are for cutting vegetables into linguine-like strands, which can be used as an alternative to pasta for those of us that are calorie counting or looking for a gluten free option.

Credits: PA;

Pizza scissors. What's wrong with using a knife, or a pizza slicer? This gadget solves a problem that never existed since two additional items already exist.

Herb scissors. Whatever next! A regular set of kitchen scissors will do the same job as these.

Actually, I think anything that says ‘as seen on tv’ or has a celebrity wielding it should be avoided like the plague, and generally, anything, especially electrical, that has more than 3 parts that need cleaning, and requires effort to remove those parts, is just a waste.

I bought a sandwich toaster years ago, and I keep trying to hide it from The Husband who wants a cheese and ham toastie as soon as he spots it. it’s great idea, but the bread slices never seem to be small enough (or maybe the sandwich-maker isn’t big enough), and the mess if you overfill your sandwich (no point unless you do!) leaves you with burnt bits stuck on the so-called non-stick plates, and crumbs all over the place. You can’t scour them clean for fear of damaging the surfaces, but some have removable plates you can take out and wash separately (but mine doesn’t).

But at the other end of the spectrum is the most useful, and to me, the potato masher is a must. A bit of elbow grease and a dollop of butter and a splodge of milk, and you have the best mashed spuds in town.

Author

Marilyn writes regularly for The Portugal News, and has lived in the Algarve for some years. A dog-lover, she has lived in Ireland, UK, Bermuda and the Isle of Man. 

Marilyn Sheridan