Laughing at yourself means to acknowledge your own flaws and mistakes with humour instead of taking them too seriously or dwelling on them. I remember working as a barmaid for extra cash in my late teens, probably my first time nervously serving a customer with a pint of bitter and vodka, and I was so wrapped up in the mental addition of the cost - and it was pounds shillings and pence in those days – that I tipped the vodka into the pint of beer.

On reflection, I can’t believe I really thought that was what he wanted. What an idiot! The customer’s eyes widened in disbelief and he stared at me, and as I looked at him with my hand out for the money I had carefully calculated, I didn’t immediately realise my error. I blushed scarlet and was mortified when the surrounding customers burst out laughing at my expense. I wished the ground could have opened up and swallowed me whole. But guess what - that customer probably doesn’t remember, nor did the other customers. I was the only one, and somehow, I managed to laugh it off.

Emotional surge

The emotional surge inside the body as people stare or laugh is the lifeblood of some comedians, and they actually make money from it! Watch any stand-up comedy act - Sarah Millican is one of my favourites – she has a lovely blend of ‘bad things often happen to me’ and ‘oh well, things could be worse’. But they are doing it on purpose, whereas ours is accidental.

Wind behind you!

This is a classic ‘laugh at yourself’ moment, and I can’t be the only one who has felt the urge to pass wind - say in the supermarket - and furtively looked over your shoulder to ensure nobody is behind you before ‘letting rip’? Nothing is worse than finding someone has unwittingly slipped behind you from an adjacent aisle and got the full audible and olfactory blast, as you look around for someone else to blame. ‘Phew that’s ripe cheese isn’t it’ and sniffing some unidentifiable package in your trolley might be a good way out, or you can turn the joke on yourself and laugh it off with a giggle and a hasty ‘oops, sorry’ moment.

Joy in absurdities

We should find joy in the absurdities of life and embrace the unexpected as part of life’s journey, as we all know that humour is a good thing. There is nothing better than a clever joke, some sort of slapstick comedy, or a memorable moment in time sealed with a laugh. What can be hard in life is seeing your own comedic moments and laughing through embarrassment or self-consciousness.

If your mental muscles, like mine, could use a little rest and restoration, having a good laugh at your own expense might bring about the catharsis you’ve been waiting for. Apparently, you should try to build the capacity to look at yourself and your mishaps in a benevolent way and be amused. Research suggests that laughter has a vast range of positive physiological and psychological outcomes, with some medical providers even prescribing laughter to their patients – remember the saying ‘laughter is the best medicine’?

You may find you actually enjoy being laughed at by other people; a phenomenon known as gelotophilia. If not, that’s fine, too. Next time you make a mistake, blunder over words, fall over your own feet or do something to make yourself blush - laugh, really take a moment to laugh. Be free to be yourself… clumsy, graceless, loudmouthed… or whatever, and just embrace being who you are.

Life has serious moments and they are important, but without the ability to laugh our way through whoever we are and whatever we do, life would be too serious. While it might sound surprising, being able to make fun of yourself can be good for your self-esteem. It might even improve your relationships and help you cope more effectively with the real challenges that life throws at you.

Author

Marilyn writes regularly for The Portugal News, and has lived in the Algarve for some years. A dog-lover, she has lived in Ireland, UK, Bermuda and the Isle of Man. 

Marilyn Sheridan